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Letting Go of Anxiety

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and stop thinking so much!

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built="1" _builder_version="3.0.89" custom_padding="4px|0px|54px|0px"][et_pb_row custom_padding="23px|0px|0px|0px" _builder_version="3.0.89"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="3.0.47" parallax="off" parallax_method="on"][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.0.89" text_font="||||||||" text_font_size="25px"]I recently received a question from someone seeking help to overcome their anxiety. I decided I would write about it, as this very question represents such a common problem that so many people face who suffer from anxiety.
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.0.89" text_font="||||||||" text_font_size="25px"]Here is the question:
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.0.89" text_font="||||||||" text_font_size="18px"]“Hi, I am getting anxious/worried/stressed over potential events, which are actually not problems at all but the anxiety then creates the problem and makes it happen. I want to be able to let it go and stop thinking as much and be more positive.”
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There are a few really interesting parts to this question I want to expand upon. Read carefully to pick up a few tips.

  1. The word ‘potential’ in potential events
  2. The realisation that they are not actually problems at all
  3. The statement — the anxiety then creates the problem and makes them happen
  4. The person has reached the point where they are ready to make a change

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There are a few really interesting parts to this question I want to expand upon. Read carefully to pick up a few tips.

  1. The word ‘potential’ in potential events
  2. The realisation that they are not actually problems at all
  3. The statement — the anxiety then creates the problem and makes them happen
  4. The person has reached the point where they are ready to make a change

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1. The word 'potential' in potential events

The future has not yet happened but you’re worrying about what could go wrong. This is very common and largely these thoughts are happening all the time and on an unconscious level too. When we are stressed, our brain is functioning from the midbrain, the fight or flight response is active and kicks in to protect us. If it perceives that something maybe a risk or dangerous to us — it lets us know, and the way it does this is often the feeling of fear, worry or adrenaline pumping through our body. It recognises patterns of past fear and projects this into the future.I find very often that people who are suffering from anxiety have this part of the brain always active, always on.

What is the future anyway? At this stage in the present moment all future moments are just possibilities. Some are pleasurable, some scary but BOTH are just projections from your imagination. Being conscious of what you project makes a huge a difference. Learning to control your thinking becomes vitally important — but believe it or not — you don’t control your mind with your thinking from where you are because your current thinking is a by-product of your brain and nervous system being stuck in these defensive overactive patterns.

So what is the opposite of fear of future? This is something you must work out for yourself, you must define it and then practice this new perception.

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2. The realisation that they are not actually problems at all

What is a problem anyway? Most people, when they look back into their life’s past problems, see that these problems often provided the biggest lessons, the biggest gifts and the most amount of growth. Whenever we learn from our problems, our lives transform in better and better ways.

However, there is something really problematic about focusing on a problem. This is in our mind and these problems often grow, establish roots and become much bigger.

When my clients get to the stage where they see their current problems as opportunities to grow, their life progresses to a completely different level. Some people even get to that space when a problem arises they are able to ask “What’s the gift in this.”

“A law of psychology says  'you get more of what you reinforce.'

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3. The statement ,  "the anxiety then creates the problems and makes them happen"

A great quote that explains the above statement is “where your focus, goes the energy flows”. Imagine you are sitting in front of me and I ask you to try as hard as you can to not feel any awareness or sensation in your feet. You will probably notice that you start to focus your attention exactly there, on your feet! The more you fight it, the greater the resistance and this causes you to fight it more and so now you’re stuck in a vicious cycle only making things worse.

When you focus so hard on the problem, and don't want to have it, the problem actually interferes more in your life. Another element that can come into play is the ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’. If you believe that you will be anxious in a certain place, event or time, then chances are you will be unconsciously manufacturing that anxiety.

Anxiety is both a cause and an effect. In this case, you are focusing on it as the effect and then causing more damage. I would rather you focus on what causes the anxiety - a nervous system under too much stress - and then shift your attention to dealing with/resolving/eliminating it from your life.

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4. The person has reached the point where they are ready to make a change.

Helping people resolve anxiety is relatively easy for me. There are a few factors which determine whether I will be able to help the person make anxiety a thing of the past for them. One of the most important factors is timing - is the person ready to make change? All my clients who have truly amazing transformations have one thing in common - they knew they needed help and they were ready to receive it. I can’t tell you how many people have been almost ready. Some book in an initial consult and then don’t show up. I know that person in 6 weeks or 6 months or years down the track will probably not be in that much of a different place, and in some cases, may be worse. Anxiety rarely gets better over time and sadly, so many people start to incorrectly think they need to live with it. Even many doctors and psychologists tell their patients that they will need to live with it forever. I have proven this wrong many, many times with my clients.

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Are you ready for a transformation?

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.0.89" text_font="||||||||" text_font_size="16px"]If you are reading this, and live in Auckland, New Zealand, and you are ready to make a change because you want to resolve your anxiety, click the links below to contact me or to book a free 20 minute consultation. You can also have a read of some testimonials from some of the clients I help.
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