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How to Prevent a Relapse

"I'm scared I will slip back."

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One of the biggest fears for so many of my clients that I work with, is this worry or potential possibility that they will slip back into a really bad place. This is common if someone has had a really bad anxious period, when everything in life stopped working, maybe a deep depression, or with someone who has suffered from a breakdown. What happens is ‘the event’ was such a big experience in their mind, and such a scary one that on some level, they try to protect themselves from having it again.

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Here is the challenge - by trying to stop it from happening they keep bringing it into their present day awareness or implant it into their possible future. On both counts, they carry their fear around with them, often never fully surrendering to the present moment or allow themselves to fully let go — just in case.

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The limbic system in the brain has many functions. One of them is to recognize and avoid events that in the past have been painful or traumatic. This makes sense in terms of survival, keeping us safe. However, this gets a little bit confusing when we don’t know what really happened in the first place that led to us feeling anxious, depressed or having the breakdown. This seems to be the case for most people. Sure we are aware there was too much stress,  but that is too general to be able to do anything about. Most people, because they are largely unaware of what is happened on a deeper level, are not really empowered to make lasting change. Rather than focusing on the elements/strategies that caused them to go on a downward spiral, they just fear the end result.

In my work we help people have a transformation. Inspiring Wellness is a wellness clinic. We help people regain their quality of life, to go way beyond where they were before things started going downhill. This pattern of being afraid that they may ‘slip backwards’ comes up quite often, so let me share with you how we resolve it.

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"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."

Lao Tzu

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To put an end to this fear, you need to do 3 things:

1) Become conscious of why you ended up where you did and what was happening in your body and in your mind. It is just as important to know what you did not do as what you did do. We need specifics,  not just generalities like "too much stress and trauma ". Even though it is true, you need more specific details to work through it.

2) You have to understand why you had your transformation. In order to get you from where you were to a place of being open, free and happy, you went through a transformation. You had to learn lots, think about things differently, react differently and learn to be proactive rather than reactive. You also had to use stress and tension in the body rather than just accumulate it. On this journey you would have had many, sometimes little and sometimes profound shifts and insights. The more you learn, the happier you become. It’s not enough to have this transformation. You also have to be aware of what is going on inside that made it successful. You have to be conscious.

3) Live in a state of growth physiology (a different part of the brain becomes active) rather than being locked up in defence physiology. Network Spinal Analysis — one of the techniques that we use in our clinic — is very effective at helping people access a different part of their physiology. It helps to release past stresses and traumas that are locked in the body and increase peace, ease and resiliency. Living in growth physiology you see things differently, seeing possibilities and trusting in your abilities rather than living in a state of fear projection of what could go wrong. When your living in growth physiology and something new comes up,  your excited by the possibility of growth and what you may learn rather than being scared or worreid, anxious or nervous.

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To sum up:

1) Become aware of why you ended up where you did

2) Have a transformation and be conscious of why you had this big shift

3) Shift your nervous system into a physiology of growth

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All the above leads me to ask my clients,

"How can you possibly have the same experience you had in the past, the one you are afraid of going back into, because now you are different? You have learnt so much and the reason you first went into that place was because of what you did not know. Now, you know so many things from so many insights that you will do things differently, think about things differently, and feel differently about things. All this creates a different outcome and thus you will never have what you had. You can’t unlearn something, pretend you don’t know these tools for change and being happy and well. If you knew this information/skills/strategies/mindset when you were first in this situation you would have responded differently and then had a different outcome."

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What I love about this concept is that it is a very simple truth. When my clients hear this, they connect to the truth within. When they integrate this concept into the way they see themselves, that fear of slipping back dissolves quite quickly and they gain a new sense of freedom, more confidence within themselves and, of course, their quality of life goes through the roof.

“A mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Homes

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If your reading this, living in Auckland, New Zealand, we would be more than happy to help you. We will help you to be in that place in life where you are no longer afraid of slipping back into a previous dark, scary or negative place. Click the link below to come in for a free 20 minute consultation if you would like some help in moving into growth physiology, you would like to have a transformation and learn some skills and strategies to live a happy life!

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